Taking Advantage of Company Time

As predicted, I am down to one follower who I'm sure hasn't wasted their time on this blog in quite some time. Let me continue to talk to an empty internet room of people.

Today, I write this from my office computer. Ballsy move, I know. But, when the exec. director and other marketer are away, this girl will PLAY! Not really, I'll mostly just slack off and do the minimal amount of work to make it look like I'm busy.

It's two days until Thanksgiving, a holiday meant to act as a tease to all those idiots that try to diet. Like all good American's I plan on over-eating, over-drinking and rolling myself into bed to drift off into a food and booze induced coma. I'll end up spending the following three days in stretchy pants contemplating the gym but probably settling on chocolate lunches instead.  However, more importantly, is it's only ONE day until Thanksgiving Eve. This particular night is meant mainly for returning college students. Always a big night out since it is when students are home for the first time since going to school. Unless you are myself or Racheal Weezy who manage to find any free moment to come home. I enjoy the boozing, weirdness of Belmar over a university campus any day. Even though I am no longer a college student, I can appreciate a good mid-week night out. As most people know, I don't normally like to indulge in my favorite hobby (drinking) on a work night. The only time I've done this I ended up with a British boyfriend and a screaming wine hangover on my hour commute. The thought of being able to let loose on a Wednesday night to the crooning sounds of Pat Roddy highlighted by cheap beer is enough to get a lady boner going.

However, this year there is more to be thankful for than just booze and bar music (am I really admitting to that?!). Yes, yes I am. I am very thankful to be back in my house after 3 weeks of living like a traveling gypsy out of multiple homes and my car. Most everyone in the world knows about Hurricane Sandy. I will not bother getting into it since I am tired of being asked about how my town endured. But, my family was displaced and our main goal was to be back in our home in order to serve the 23 people invited for the holiday. We have electricity and hot water, going for the trifecta of HEAT today. Fingers crossed, if not it'll feel like the last 12 years when we had a faulty furnace that was likely to blow up our house if the thermostat was over 55.

 I've been spending some time compiling my winter bucket list. This would be a much more enjoyable task if I didn't have weddings to worry about or any vacation time left. My company went ahead and used up my saved time to pay for the days I was HOMELESS during the Hurricane. How thoughtful of them. Regardless, I've decided to post some of my ideas here and with any luck I'll get one MAYBE two things accomplished.

1. Snowboarding. This past year was the first time in 21 years that I wasn't on a mountain at some point. Sad to think about, but, on the other hand we had a very mild winter and I don't miss slushy man-made snow.

2. Shooting Range. This has been something I've wanted to do for years now. I'm hoping to try shooting multiple different types of fire arms and one day owning a pink Hello Kitty AK-47

3. Greater Belmar Polar Bear Plunge. For the past 3 years on the day after Christmas a certain group of people all gather to jump into the ocean. Last year was my first time. I got a nifty free t-shirt and a whole body numbness that lasted 3 hours after the plunge. I was able to warm up on a mixture of red wine, whiskey and Bud Lights. This should be a given but with the rumors of Ocean Ave being shut down for 6 months I'm not sure if we will be able to get up there. I'm planning on rallying a group of miscreants to challenge the law and go anyway. 

 This is all I have for now. Stay tuned for a follow up in 18 months when I get around to doing this again.


Currently listening to the sounds of a father/son electrician team clamber up and down a ladder that I'm sure couldn't hold a husky 9 year old.

Friday Means Nothing When You Work Saturday.

It’s been brought to my attention that it has been a WHOLE 20 MONTHS since my last post. Seeing as I have two followers (one of which, I’m fairly certain will un-follow) I don’t know why this is worth typing. But, away we go. I like to think I’m pretty fucking optimistic. Maybe to the point where I will look for the good while continually being shat on. There’s always someone worse off, right? Well, today, I’m going to let the bitchy-ness FLY. Watch out people, here it comes. Stayed up late reading, as usual. Don’t know why I let myself do this EVERY SINGLE NIGHT but I guess I am somewhat a creature of habit. Woke up BEFORE my alarm, realized it, went back to sleep and slept THROUGH my alarm. Somehow managed a shower (and got to shave my legs! Score!), ironed my dress, got ready, about to walk out of my room… text from The Gill saying “don’t wear that dress”. Now, let me explain why this angers me so. It is TECHNICALLY her dress. She bought it. BUT, being as we are sisters, share a room (aka the Princess Suite) and share everything but boyfriends (actually, there was that time in college. Sisterhood bonding we’ll call it) I thought it was very rude of her to command that I do not wear it. Alas, it was 7am, I was already running late, didn’t want to start a text war, I changed into the most unflattering dress but most comfortable. At least my legs are as smooth as a baby seal. After I change into the box dress, again attempting to walk about of my room and BOOM! Call from The Birthday Queen Herself, my mother, stating in complete urgency that “You must move your car! I have to get to work!” Well, no kidding! So do I, crazy lady, and your commute is a mere 15 minutes. Cool your jets! Manage to run out of the house with the right shoes on, move my car in time for Birthday Queen to peel out of the driveway going a shocking 3 mph. So urgent. Now, moving onto my LOVELY commute down the beautifully scenic 138 to 195 to 295 to 31. So many numbers. I seem to be making decent time, Gaslight Anthem blaring out the speakers, wet hair being blown and tangled into knots (I could have shut the window but why would I?). Then, what’s that in the distance? Alien spaceship landing in a field of noxious sprayed trees? A rave show being held on the highway? OH WAIT! It’s the flashing lights of not 1, not 2, not even 3… BUT 10 cop cars. Add 2 ambulances, a fire truck, and 2 tow trucks. The thought of traffic makes my blood boil. So I creeeeeeeeeep along at a pace equivalent to a pregnant turtle, I actually saw a man on bicycle going faster than me (wait, on west bound 195? A bike? Isn’t that illegal?) . For a minute I seemed to pick up speed, only to be brought to a dead stop behind a Department of Corrections bus filled with an array of criminals on their way to “keep our highways clean”. As I sit behind this refurbished school bus I start day dreaming about the criminals inside rallying together to take over the bus driver, probably kill him, throw his body into the mess of traffic and start to take back this world that is so rightfully theirs (spoiler alert: this may also be a scene from The Dark Knight Rises). Sadly, this doesn’t happen, as this would have made traffic much more enjoyable. I did however get to see the Jaws of Life work its magic on a crumpled up sedan. So that’s a plus. Start moving along at a faster pace, keeps getting faster, manage to get off at my exit going no less than 75 (which is a respectable 10 miles over the speed limit, totally legit.) Not much to report on 295, for the first time ever. Make it to work and into my office with time to spare. So I enjoyed some cereal. Started to check my e-mail and lo and behold I was left with 2 tasks to complete for someone else. This “someone else” will remain nameless as she is the same person whose job I’ve been doing for the past 3 months and I have been told to “back down” and concentrate on my own job. This apparently is a glorified assistant marketer. However, if it wasn’t for ME we wouldn’t be getting anything done. She did get put on probation and I did end up getting praised for “rising to the occasion”. Annoyance is back seeing that I have to cover her ass, again, but I do it because I am a good person (and I asked her to work my Saturday of Labor Day weekend. Spun a whole sob story. Hopefully she is someone who is won over by guilt). I guess at this point in time I should explain where I’ve been/what I’ve been doing since my last post. Congratulations to me! I am no longer a nanny. Although I was awesome at it. I managed to find a job that would take me with a resume looking like a high schoolers set of accomplishments and with a set of specialty skills looking like this: being able to change a baby’s diaper while they are still asleep (for all those moms and child care givers out there, this is a fucking SKILL and I am proud to have it), making one hell of a grill cheese and getting a child to “pee-pee” on the potty (doesn’t count that after I resigned he later began to shit behind the couch). Enter my new job, activities assistant at BSL (in case this pops up somewhere that it shouldn’t I’m not naming the company. I have way too many student loans to pay off so I’d rather not get fired). I’m sure you are all wondering “what is an activities assistant??” Well I will tell you! I got to call bingo, play word games and bake cupcakes. It was basically nannying for the elderly. I didn’t hate it right away, it took about 3 months THEN I started to hate it. I became miserable. I was making hundreds of dollars less than what I was making nannying (but I had my sanity! That counts for something, right?!). And I started to get guilt about having a college degree and working at a job that required zero skill or brain function. I was almost at my year mark being a professional bingo caller and HOORAY! I got a promotion into marketing. Not sure how or why I got the job since I do not have a background in marketing. But, I know how to talk to people so I guess that’s all it took. I make more money (not enough for Sallie Mae though, that bitch) and commute for an hour each way. I love my job. For the first time ever I am doing something that I learn at every day. Still have to work Saturday’s which blows but at least it’s not Sunday’s (which I down right REFUSED to do and didn’t even bother making a real excuse why. Told them the truth. Football). That got a laugh out of some people but they haven’t asked me to work that day so it worked. I’m currently writing this at work since I’m trying “slack off” a bit and not step on “someone’s” toes or job. Thank God above for Spotify or else I’d be spending countless number of hours staring out the window (I have a great office, that’s for sure). I am multi-tasking though. I had to print labels for a flyer we are mailing out for an event. It took 3 tries and 17 pieces of wasted label paper for me to figure out what size to print. I’m not going green. Let someone else worry about it. Stay tuned! I can’t make any promise but I will try to update on my life. It’s quite interesting, I know. Maybe there will be another list up here of things to do (besides the SEVEN yes SEVEN weddings I have. Two of which I am in). Currently listening to Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s “A Children’s Crusade on Acid”

If It's Cold, It Better Snow.

Hello. It's been a while, I know. I'm pretty sure this is just a space for me to write and nobody is actually reading it. Either way, I enjoy it.

It's Decemeber. It's cold. It's NOT snowing. I have this thing, if it's going to be cold and blustery I want it to be snowing. Snow is the only thing that matters in the winter. I want to go snowboardin, that's why.

I'm ranting and nothing interesting is coming out of it.

Bye.

Currently listening to House Hunters International. I wish I was someone who had $970,000 laying around for a villa in the South of France.

I'm bore therefore this post is boring. Sorry.

Sooooooooo summer is over. Sadness, sadness, sadness. Why is it that I never, EVER get used to summer ending? That'll remain unanswered forever.

Anyway, in case anyone out there in internet space who is even bothering to read this blog is wondering, I didn't finish my summer bucket list. Oh well. I'm not too concerned about it. Summer always returns, right? There's always next year :)

I don't have too much to report on, there's nothing new happening. I'm trying to write more, kind of failing but eh, oh welll.

slater.

currently not listening to music but watching ESPN (not by choice)

Summer Bucket List cont.

Before I forget! I've completed two things on my list! HOORAY! Bonnaroo (amazing, hot, sweaty, amazing) and the Belmar 5 Mile (same). I'm planning a trip to Block Island in August. It's my heaven on earth. It's what keeps me sane. MMMMM Fresh Water Pond is my religion. MMMM.

more to the list:
Parker House 5k (more races)
Hiking (did a little of the appaliachian trail earlier this summer)
Sublime & more shows
Barefoot dance party on the beach

thats all for now. let's see how far i get on this list.

currently listening to: Matt Nathanson "Bare"